Pretty in pleats

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always associated pleated skirts with school uniform. I’ve always had a penchant for them, though (school uniform not so much), so I was pleased to see that the SS’11 runways were awash with pleated styles.

Par exemple…

Hannah McGibbon opted for below-the-knee, light-as-a-feather pleated skirts at Chloé.

Things were similarly neutral but shorter and less floaty at the wonderful Karen Walker show.

So, the fashion world loves pleats. We love pleats here at Innocuous Whispers, and so should you.

And here is the good thing: you don’t have to wait until the Spring/Summer collections hit the shops, nor do you necessarily have to blow the budget by buying something designer. You see, it turns out that pleats have a timeless appeal, and I don’t just mean for the people who make decisions on school uniforms, whoever they may be. Oh no, you can buy pleats NOW. Be prepared for the warmer seasons. Or just put your middle finger up at the warmer seasons and wear your new pleated skirt with tights.

Topshop Boutique, £50 – Topshop, £45 – BDG @ Urban Outfitters, £45

The lust list- 07/11/10- Designer party dresses!

Christmas will soon be upon us and those of us who like socialising during the festive season (or, indeed, just looking pretty) will no doubt be in need of a dress or two. Preferably a sparkly one. Perhaps you should indulge yourself by buying one of these designer gems. Think of it as a smart investment.

3.1 Phillip Lim, £945, Erdem, £500, Versace, £5,260, Valentino, £3,825, Versus, £1,690, Peter Pilotto, £795, Sandro, £255, Diane von Furstenberg, £345, D&G, £1,490, Anna Sui, £555, Antik Batik, £375, Temperley London, £545, Marchesa, £2,400, Notte by Marchesa, £590, Milly, £680, Ashish, £1,025, Matthew Williamson, £1,895, Balmain, £7,355

I’ll do a high street party dresses special next week!

Ice queen

Looks from the Chanel Autumn/Winter RTW show
The fact that white looks good in the winter isn’t exactly breaking fashion news, but nevertheless I would like to talk about ‘winter whites’ for a while because I simply love this look. And everybody else seems to do, too. Eva Longoria-Parker looked beautiful in white Chanel FW RTW on the cover of Tatler’s November issue, and Emma Watson looked oh-so-cool in white Valentino Haute Couture. At this point I might tell you about the cover of December Elle, but unfortunately I have not yet received it as the issue has been delayed to to an embargo (ooh er).

Anyway, this season almost everybody is jumping onto the minimalism bandwagon. What is more fitting to this trend than a plain, white, long-sleeved, fuss-free shift dress? As we all know, white is such a pure- clean, if you like- colour. Perfect, then, for a somewhat stripped-down look.

It was only last year when I was told by an American friend that some people see wearing white in the winter as a taboo because, apparently, one shouldn’t wear white after Labour Day (sorry, Labor Day). I don’t believe that many Americans- fashion-forward ones, at least- adhere to this rule nowadays, though. Good for them! What’s wrong with wearing white in the winter, though? I did a bit of Googling this afternoon and one of the conclusions for this bizarre no-white-after-Labour-Day idea is the issue of temperature. Fine if they’re talking about wearing a white t-shirt in the cold weather. But what if you’ve adopted a Chanel white faux-fur coat? How is that not going to keep you warm?

That brings me on to say that an important thing to consider when wearing white in the winter is texture. Think about the fabric and how it feels and looks. White fur, in various forms, graced the likes of the Balmain and Isabel Marant catwalks. You can’t deny that it looks good. However, my advice is to opt for a white faux-fur coat that doesn’t give the perennially undesirable yeti look (it only really works on Chanel models and actual yetis- let’s face it).

So, how do you wear white in the winter? I cannot stress further how much I like white fur coats. So that’s one idea; a versatile one, too, when you think of all the different things you can pair a white coat with. Or why not take a long sleeved, well-cut Gucci dress (which is a more ‘winter white’ kind of white… think less bright, more cream, still as chic)? Or how about one of my favourite ways to wear white this winter: on your legs? And I’m not just talking about white trousers (though I’d have those Isabel Marant ones any day)- I’m talking about white tights, which were shown in the majority of the looks at Chanel. You can wear white tights with anything, really, and they will look good. However, I have a penchant for the all-over-white look: white dress, white tights, white heels. If you can pull it off, then go for it. White will go with other colours, too. Black and white has a classic, timeless appeal. Hermes and Balenciaga showed us that white also looks good with the season’s camel/beige-y colours, too, and Balmain tried to sell us the idea of teaming white with gold (gold sequins, nonetheless), and it sort of worked. The last 13 looks at Chanel were almost entirely white, but earlier three gorgeous jumper dresses- in white and divine icy blue- were shown on the catwalk and they were as cool as the glacial setting of the show itself. And I’m just giving you a few examples of how white was shown on the catwalk. Do some research yourself and you will find that many other designers clicked with white’s never-ending charm and used the colour in many different ways this season.

Autumn/Winter 2010 RTW shows, from top, left to right- Balmain, Isabel Marant, Balenciaga, Calvin Klein, Rodarte, Reed Krakoff, Gucci, Hermes, Valentino.

Wardrobe malfunctions: a central part of my life, seemingly

One of my friends and I have this ongoing joke that our lives consist of one long string of wardrobe malfunctions. Unfortunately, it is reality rather than a joke. As much as I love fashion, it seems like fashion hates me. I have had umpteen wardrobe malfunctions, but there really are so many that I can’t share them all with you. So I’ve decided to discuss some of my most common sartorial issues. I wonder if anybody can sympathise with me on any of these?

I hate it…

…When my tights get dog hair on them

I live in England. I have to wear tights almost all year round. I generally go for black opaques (mostly because I have a complex about my fat legs- we all know that black is a slimming colour). They look nice. They make me look thin. They make me happy. I wear a pair as soon as I bring them home from the shops. I come home. I stroke the dog. The dog doesn’t even touch my legs. I somehow get dog hair on my tights. The tights are washed. There is still dog hair on my tights… and more often than not the tights have gone all bobbly too. So I have to buy new tights. Because I have to buy about three new pairs of tights every weekend- and literally wear them once before they succumb to the dog hair- I can’t afford to buy tights for £12. So I buy them from Primark, for £2 a pair. I wonder if I bought pricier, better quality tights then they would last longer? But the dog hair would still stick to them, of course. I long for the days when I can treat myself to black tights from Falke… but I’ll have to wait until I no longer reside alongside a dog.

 

…When I get a ladder in my tights

This is, 99% of the time, my own fault. Although not a complete klutz, I am by no means a most graceful, ladylike person. Don’t judge me (I am quite normal), but whilst wearing tights I have climbed trees, walked the dog, crawled on the floor- amongst other things- consequently laddering the tights. Also, as I have already said, I don’t exactly break the bank when it comes to everyday hosiery (I splash out on £12 House of Holland for Pretty Polly tights when Henry whacks out a new collection), so I’m not really doing myself any favours. Don’t get me wrong: I am a fan of the dishevelled, rebellious, holes-in-tights/jeans look, but I’m generally not a fan of surprises, so walking down the corridor in college and I look down to find a great ladder in my tights, I am not best pleased.
Tip for those of you who find small ladders in their tights but still want to wear them: Apply clear nail varnish to stop the ladder from increasing in size. It works. Take the tights off and apply the nail polish then, and then let it dry. I’ve stupidly kept my tights on and applied the nail varnish and, of course, it just sticks to one’s legs and it’s not particularly comfortable…

…When I roll my jeans up- to proudly reveal my skinny, lightly tanned ankles- and they gradually roll back down as I walk, looking pretty stupid

This is a pain. I don’t know if it’s supposed to happen. Does this happen to anybody else apart from me? It seems that it doesn’t as plenty of my friends (and, indeed, people I see all over the place) have perfected the art of rolling up their trousers. I love the allure of a bare ankle. I want to reveal my own ankles, but unfortunately my trousers keep rolling back to their original state. I’ve tried sewing a couple of stitches as soon as I’ve rolled up my jeans, but it doesn’t seem to work. Am I just being pedantic? Am I alone with this problem? Am I missing something (in all fairness, I’m almost always in skirts or dresses or shorts so I don’t really wear trousers that much)? Please let me know.

…When my bra strap decides to detach itself

I have some bras that have removable straps, which I completely understand are a useful feature. I have one bra though- a Wonderbra, no less- that has straps that are firmly attatched on the front, but then they can be detached at the back. I don’t understand why you would need to detach the back of your bra if you can’t detach the front. Anyway, when I first got the bra it was fine to wear. However, after having it for a couple of months, it is starting to really p**s me off to such a level that I no longer want to wear it in fear that it will embarrass me. Embarrass me, I hear you ask, how could it embarrass me? This is what happens: I’m at college, in a lesson. I’m wearing the bra. Suddenly things feel a bit… loose on, let’s say, my right shoulder. I realise that my bra strap has detached itself at the back; the little hook has slid out of where it should be and so now the bra strap has become one long string and, oh God, now it’s slipped off my shoulder and it’s down my side and if I move I’m sure it’s going to poke out of the bottom of my top. So now I have to excuse myself and shuffle to the ladies’ to re-attach the bra strap. That’s not how it should be, surely? Or is my lingerie knowledge lacking something?

…When “Dry Clean Only” is on the care label

One of my favourite tops is a Luella SS09 floral silk-cotton mix, short-sleeved button-up blouse. I want to wear it contastantly- especially when it’s warm outside. However, like most lovely garments, the blouse is only to be dry cleaned. The nearest dry cleaners is about half an hour away in the car. And I don’t have a car. Sometimes I’m tempted to throw it in the washing machine, but my love for the blouse always holds me back.

…When I’m convinced I have VPL

Enough said.

…When it’s windy and I’ve been smart enough to wear the floatiest skirt in my wardrobe

Sod’s law- that lovely old adage- is one of those things that sums up my life. Just like it’s Sod’s law that whenever it’s raining, I’ll wear something that will get ruined and/or become see-through when wet, it’s Sod’s law that whenever it’s windy, I’ll wear a skirt that is bound to blow up in the wind. Luckily, I often carry big bags or messenger bags that I can swivel around so they cover my bum, preventing the skirt from blowing up too much. But that still doesn’t stop me from being overly paranoid and almost always walking around clutching the sides of my skirt. I think it’s because I’ve had too many bad past experiences with inadvertent knicker-flashing, like when I was 15 and running to the school bus, which I was late for, on a windy day. I was stretching the uniform rules to their limit by wearing a gorgeous high-waisted, A-line skirt- complete with an underskirt for even more volume- which I loved. However, it was a windy day and as I was hurrying my skirt blew up and it stayed in that position. Being in such a flustered, rushed state, I didn’t realise my sartorial nightmare until I got on the bus to shouts of “nice knickers” and a stomach-churning look from 50+-year-old bus driver.